he didn’t eat breakfast.  he misbehaved terribly.  he was punished for his behavior and sat under the shadow of two disappointed frowns, trying to operate under tough love, as we prepared for the day.

in the car, just as we were about to leave, he let a tear fall.  “i don’t want to be away from you for too many hours”  i could tell he was trying to be brave for me but all of a sudden, his behavior made sense and my anger melted away.  he was nervous about his first day of “school”, knowing that he would be on his own for a lot of hours.  i get that.

we drove to the first day of homeschool co-op and discussed how the day would go, how much fun we would have and what tasty lunch treats we would share.  we have been talking about this since march, anticipating this since march…all smiles about this since march, but he just stared out the window.  his five year old brain contemplating things i can only imagine.  raindrops raced down the window trying to beat the speed of his tears.

we pulled in to the parking lot of the church.  i opened the door and asked him to come to me.  i think he thought he was in trouble again.  instead of words, we just hugged.  a big hug.  the kind where you wrap your arms around the other person hoping they will pull you out of the trench you are in.  the kind you don’t ever want to get out of and you know you will never forget.

he pulled back and a slight smile and said, “ready momma?”.  of course…

the day was a success.  he loved his classes (so did big sis and little bro), we snuck smiles in between periods and when i went to bed last night, i thought about that hug.  i thought about my brave little man and what a blessing this co-op would be this year.  i wrote down in my journal the cute comments made by them all and i tried to soak in the day all over again.  i am fairly certain i learned more than they did yesterday.