with cream please

by Amy

the cream to cookie ratio is all wrong.  i know it is a double stuff but there is still too much chocolate waffer getting in the way of the creamy goodness.  so i don’t eat them.

i used to throw them away until i met my dear friend lindsay.  you know it is meant to be when someone you adore so much loves the part of the food you don’t.  so i save them for her.  a big carton of double stuff oreo cookies with only the top halves rattling around the plastic container as i smile and hand her the blue & pink box.  she’s lucky that mr ballard threw such a fit about me wasting them, forcing me to commiserate about my dilemma to her, thus finding out the perfect solution only a true friend can offer.

i don’t lick them like in the peyton manning commercials, or eat just the cream.  i take big bites followed by huge gulps of milk and no matter how many times I swish or wipe, my teeth won’t let go.  neither will the corners of my mouth.  all of a sudden i am two again and totally unaware of the disaster that is my face.  like i am saving it for later that day.

and who even buys non-double stuff oreos.  single stuff oreos?  psh.

how do you oreo?