so she will

by Amy

when i ask her to get dressed, she comes down stairs in a monochromatic outfit.  teal flip flops, teal pants, teal shirt, teal headband and teal jacket.  “it matches” she tells me.  yes.  it certainly does.  i smile and go ahead and take her in public because…well…there is never too much teal.

when she combs her hair, she parts in directly down the center and tucks it back behind her ears.  or asks for one pony tail.  that is how she likes it.  and even though she feels “so pretty” when I braid it or do something fancy to it, she wants her hair the way she wants it.  she doesn’t care what others think.  it’s easy, it’s comfortable and she can do it on her own.

she sings.  at the top of her lungs, she sings.  in front of anyone.  it’s always jesus music and it rarely in tune but she belts it.  i love it.  she doesn’t care who hears or what they think…she likes that song and she likes to sing.  so she will.

just recently i have noticed a few changes in my little oldest child.  my baby girl.  there are a few boys that she likes to look pretty for.  there are a little less “matching” outfits.  there are many more glances in the mirror.  she seems like she is starting to care.  just a little, but still…noticeable.  every now and then, when i see her in a moment were she forgets to care, i want to stop whatever i am doing and just soak her up.  to find a jar big enough to just swallow up the moment and store it away forever.  or to snap a shot and stare at it for hours on end, remembering.  remembering what it is like to “not care”.  and then, do whatever i can to keep her from losing that along the way.

for now, i will just go hug her.  tell her she looks beautiful in her all pink outfit with the matching pink tu-tu.  and turn on some jesus music.

yeah.  that sounds like a good way to start our day…