all for kicks

by Amy

she was reading green eggs and ham.  the same book i used to make my mother read to me endlessmillion times.  she has it memorized but not accurately so i had to help her slide her finger along the words to make sure she was actually reading.  there were no other thoughts in my head except for the thought of helping her get to page 40.

a little nudge.  only 17 weeks.  but I guess that isn’t too early.  nah…maybe it was gas.

another little poke.  same spot, same pressure.  page 40 is a distant memory and my sweet baby’s strong movements, that i have now felt for the first time, are all that fill my brain.  this is love.  this is my baby.  it is really there.  yes i have seen the ultrasounds and yes, baby was compared to a gummy bear, the terminator, a duck and a piece of rice…but this.  this is for real.

something so special is found in feeling your baby move.  i stopped big sister mid sentence.  she looked up at me with her huge blue eyes when i asked if she knew of something exciting.  “i felt the baby move…for the first time.”

“can i feel?” she asked after her hand had already found a place to rest on my rotund belly.  i explained how baby was still so small that she wouldn’t be able to feel but didn’t turn her away from trying.  from that feeling of hope that maybe, just maybe, she would feel something.  my tummy gurgled.  “was that the baby growling at me?’ she asked.  baby nudged me again.  i selfishly enjoyed being the only one to feel such an amazing mini person movement.

yes, there is something so special about a baby’s “first movement”.  but even more special, is sharing it.